Janay Rice, wife of former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice, made her first public comments since TMZ leaked video of her brutal assault in an Atlantic City elevator last February.

In a statement on Instagram, Rice wrote:

“I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I’m mourning the death of my closest friend. But to have to accept the fact that it’s reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that hte media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his a** of for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific. THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don’t you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you’ve succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!”

Rice’s Instagram is private, but several screenshots of her statement have been circulating this morning.*

*Post has been updated to reflect the removal of the screen-grab of Janay Rice’s private Instagram account.